I was a very active person, so I never dreamed that a sudden trip to the emergency room would be the last time I would live in my home of twenty years, nor that I would become like a baby and wind up in a nursing home, but it happened.

I didn’t know I could not write until I tried to sign my autograph on a book I wrote. I was embarrassed that I went all over the page with scribble. Then, I could not feel or control my insides, and I was not expected to survive.

I was very ill and traveled through some tough times. It was then that I felt God placed people in my life who loved me and carried me through the many illnesses, drug allergic reactions, and other life-threatening events. I had experienced the sadness of leaving my home and the isolation caused by all these health issues.

I was improving, but it was a long process, with many hours just being in bed or sitting in a wheelchair, longing for personal conversation. During my meditations, I had the idea that it was time to take action, and I adopted the phrase, “Bloom where you are planted.”

Using my illness experiences and my experiences as a lay leader in my church, plus my knowledge as an educator for the Alzheimer’s Association and Support Group leader in Williamsport, my “garden where I could bloom where I was planted” became obvious to me.

I spoke to those people sitting in their wheelchairs, many of whom did not or could not speak. I came to a woman who had strokes, and I was able to help her express herself. Her two most meaningful sentences she worked to say were “Thank you for talking to me” and “I love you.” My heart melted, and I was hooked.

I also prayed with her and soon found myself being asked to sit at the bedside of those I had befriended, and even offer prayer as they were in their last hours.

I began telling true, funny stories to many as well. One response to my stories was to reach for a hug and thank me for giving them laughter. I often heard “You make me laugh so hard my belly hurts.” One lady told her roommate, “I never laughed so hard in my life, and it feels good.”

As I meditated, I was troubled. I found that many people needed to be assured that they were loved. How could I possibly say “I love you” to a person I just met and mean it, or not be misunderstood with the saying?

I prayed, and the answer came to me: “Pass my love along.” So now I can easily say the truth and mean it; “God loves you, and I love you too.” I have been impressed with the thought that you can never hear, “I love you” too often, and love can carry you through tough waters.

Many have been moved from their home for health reasons, and the longing for the freedom of home is great. Therefore, a card, visit, phone call, or some other contacts are of greater value than you might think.

Many impaired are misunderstood, especially when they speak what pops into their head, which can often be insulting and hit an area that you are sensitive about, such as “You are too fat or skinny.” Those folks usually have no concept of the insult and need your love more than most.

It bothers me when people say, “I don’t want to go see this person at the nursing home because I want to remember the way they have been before.” I respond, “I didn’t know you had a memory problem because if you didn’t, you could be with them now as they need you, and still remember how they were.”

Helping me on my way to be blooming in the garden, I took the classes to become a PEER: Pennsylvania’s Empowered Expert Resident. This is a program under the umbrella of STEP. PEERS acquaint people with the nursing home facility and their rights as a resident, and often make them aware of activities and services.

Although I am somewhat impaired, I find joy in helping others and bringing happiness and love to them. Now, I know I am “blooming where I am planted.”

Carole T. Fulmer is a long-time educator for the Alzheimer’s Association and a member of Pine Street United Methodist Church. She is currently living at the Williamsport Home.